Sunday, July 28, 2013

Plans A, B, and C

Plan A after I got home from my mission was to get married fast and settle down quickly.

But who has time to wait for Plan A to work out. So while that is not only the goal, but the number one desire, I'm not going to sit around and wait for things to magically happen here in Provo.

I've got ambitions you see.

So that's where Korea comes in.

Sometimes I get this deep lump in my chest. Yearning is the only verb I can really say that comes close to describing it. A yearning to go back. A yearning to see the people I love again; to hear that beautiful language, to eat the most delicious food, to see the trees and the gentle mountains juxtaposed next to skyscrapers.

Plan B has been to go back to Korea and teach English after I graduate. I've been nervous about this plan. I've been afraid of it's selfish motives. Because the only reason to go back to Korea is for myself. I've thought about it over and over. I can study for the GRE. I can help the missionaries. I can start studying Korean again. But would I progress there? Is Plan B really all that great for helping out with Plan A?

Last week I saw a notification for a job in Provo. It was a long shot. "But this could be Plan C!" I thought. But as I composed the email, and then clicked the send button I just knew it wasn't right.

For months and months I haven't been praying about Plan B because I've been too afraid that the answer is no; that I shouldn't go back there. But that moment confirmed that Plan C was definitely not right at all.

Whatever it takes, I'm going back to Korea after I graduate.

And I hope that finally that yearning, that big lump of a hole in my chest, will finally be filled up.

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