Thursday, November 8, 2012

Austria and Korea

Whenever I've written about Vienna, and about what I've missed there, it's always been about things:
the opera,
the food,
the palaces,
the shopping,
the cathederals,
the museums.
Staatsoper 2010

And I remember how much heart used to ache for it all. Vienna was like going home to a place I didn't even know was home. It was there that I discovered how to be independent, and free. I learned how to feel joy independent of anyone else. But it was also there that I learned about heartache, and what it takes to mend that heart. I learned the meaning of the word forgiveness.

And the art. That's when art really took over my soul. It was the most transformative experience of my life thus far.

I am American. There is no doubting that. But it still seemed that I belonged to the Alps. Even my body reveled in the environment. My skin soaked it up. Each place traveled to was exciting and new, and yet somehow familiar all at the same time. 

But Korea.

Korea is different.

My longing for that place is... different. Because in that place, it's the people that captured my heart. If Vienna was like going home to a place I didn't know existed, then going to Korea was like discovering a family I never knew I had. 

I get this pressure right in the middle of my chest sometimes when I think about Korea. The only way I can describe it is this overwhelming of emotion for this country. It's like feeling the whole spectrum of emotions, for an entire people. Is it possible for a heart to grow that big? 

I think so. It's what jung is. 
I will go back someday.

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