Thoughts on Motherhood

I hope it comes across to people that the thing I want to be most when I grow up is a mom.

To those not of my faith, I think this statement might be a little shocking. I had a friend say to me over Christmas break that I wasn't like a "regular" Mormon. She said that I wouldn't be content to just sit at home with kids all day safe inside my little bubble, having nothing to do with the outside world. Besides this statement being extremely false about stay at home Mormon moms in general (these women influence the world daily with their writing, click here and here and here) , it was extremely false about me! And inside, I was screaming, yelling, pounding my fists and kicking my feet in protest. Yes, I am an intelligent woman. I have a future ahead of me academically. If I wanted, I could have a high powered career in the art industry; as a museum curator, as an art history professor, as a lobbyist for art in public schools. I've thought about all these options. But the number one thing I want to be is a mom.

But what a catch-22. Even here at BYU, the "career" choice to be a mom is often looked down upon. "Did you come to school to get your MRS degree?" "Is all you really want out of life to just stay at home with the kids all day?" No one actually says these things to your face. But you see it in their eyes, and you hear it in the tone of their voice. And yet, when you do have a career path laid out for you, they wonder why you don't want to be a stay at home mom. "Do you think you're better than staying at home with your kids?" they ask. Either way, you can't win; and neither does the role of mothers.

So what do I say to the critics of motherhood? What do I say to those people who look down on me for what I want to do with my life? What do I say to those people who ask me why I'm wasting my potential?

Here is what I say: You have no idea the sanctity of what you're criticizing. And if I want, I will do both. But it will never be a waste of my potential if I choose to be a stay at home mom. So there.

" There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish. Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially throughout the eternities." -Julie B. Beck General Conference 2004
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