Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Why do we fall Master Wayne?

We're just gonna chalk up the last few days to an incredable learning experience.

Our first Sunday here, Margie asked us why we were here in Vienna. I thought about it a lot. Certainly to learn the language. And to study the great masters of art and architecture. And then there's the opera. But what really came to mind is a line from a song. "In finding them, I know who I am." In being here, I get to discover a part of my heritage that I've never seen before. I see un-nameable characteristics in the people here that remind me of myself and my family. It's difficult to explain but that's the truth of the matter. It offers some great comfort to know that I'm walking the same streets my Grandfather walked while he was a missionary here. It makes me feel less alone; even though I don't really know the language or any one here.

I'm more and more determined not to let small people dictate my decisions and my moods. I have always firmly believed that you can have everything stripped from you, except your attitude. Especially your attitude about yourself.

Last week we made a day trip to Hayden's birthplace in Eisenstadt. Our first stop was Hayden's Kirche. I have found here that though there are no temples I can turn to for sanctuary, I do always have the beautiful comfort of the cathedrals and churches. Haydens Kirche was a pilgramige stop for farmers in Esterhazy land. It's a beautiful church. As I was sitting there in the pews, homesick and heartbroken, I looked up. And there was one of the most striking frescos I've ever seen. It was the Accension of the Savior into Heaven. I remember thinking it was odd. Usually Catholics focus on the more morbid aspects of the Atonement, with the crucifixtion as the main subject of the art in their churches. Later during the tour, the guide explained that Prince Esterhazy had commissioned this fresco to offer hope to the pilgrims there. Hope of return to our Father in Heaven.

Why do we fall down? So we can pick ourselves back up.

It can be rough when the person you love the most lets you down in a way you never expected.

But I know how to look up for that hope. I won't let small ugly people decide my future for me. I decide that for myself.

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