Lessons Learned In Laramie

My feelings for Wyoming are....manifold.

In me exists a wide spectrum of feeling for this place. Sometimes its fear. Sometimes a twinge of nostalgia for a nonexistent past. Sometimes its gratitude. Sometimes anger. Sometimes its happiness. I've always known Wyoming isn't a place where I could spend the rest of my life. But I've also always known it will be a place that I'll want to visit over and over again. If I'm lucky enough to have kids, I'll want to bring them to this place. I'll want to show this place to them. "Here, here is the place where Mom learned so much."


Here, during my very first week in Laramie, I discovered that being educated does not make you enlightened.

Here I tried in my efforts to critique, not to lose my compassion.

Here I met people very different from me and yet there was still common ground enough to build relationships.

Here I found out that the Christlike thing to do isn't always doing what I think is the Christlike thing.

Here I practiced listening more and most of the time wasn't very good at it.

Here I watched the sunset and it filled my heart to bursting.

Here I was hurt by someone I looked up to, and everything turned out ok but it took some time.

Here I went on a lot of road trips and saw the horizon in every direction.

Here I learned and researched and wrote and wrote and wrote. I didn't always understand everything but I tried.

Here my professors believed in me and encouraged me and thought I could do great things.

Here I was scared I wouldn't live up to people's expectations.

Here I felt like I didn't fit in. But I learned that most people feel that way.

Here I cried more tears than I have in my whole life combined.

Here I started speaking almost exclusively in hyperbole.

Here I laughed and talked and sang.

Here I found a warm little spot in front of the fire to call home.

The people here say Laramie is a place of healing. I've always disagreed. For me, Laramie is a place of learning... often the most painful lessons. Most of them how insufficient I've been and the ways that I need to do and be better. I felt it especially today. The weight of mistakes I've made have gotten heavier over the past couple of weeks and today was the first day that I really did something to try and rectify it. And I think it was good.

Laramie, you are a difficult school teacher. But I think I will miss you very much when I'm gone.