Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I don't really like this hip. Can I get a new one?

My hip has made me a lot crabbier than I ever remember being as a missionary.

And I've been wondering lately why.

Of course like every other returned missionary, I sit and day dream about my mission; wishing so badly that I  could go back. (post mission dating causes me waaaay more anxiety than street contacting ever did)

As a missionary, I was the best version of myself. I would be lying if I said I never complained about my hip back then. But it seemed like the pain was easier to deal with. And that there was a bigger, grander purpose for all the pain I was going through. And I really believe there was.

But now?

Today, I read a talk for my Teachings of the Living Prophets class.

I realized one thing I did every day as a missionary that I've done probably three times since I've been home.

Journaling.

But more important than that, recognizing the hand of God in my every day life. There's a power to writing down your gratitude to God that's different than spoken and heart-felt prayer.

And when I look back on my time in the MTC, it was writing down every day blessings of being there that gave me the change of heart I needed to be a focused missionary.

So this is my new goal. My new challenge to myself:

Write in my journal every day. 
But write down the tender mercies.

Because with all the tender mercies I've got, I'm so much more than a girl with a broken hip.